


seventeen shenanigans

by jinkistarlight



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mild Language, lapslock, lots of gay, mildly depressing jokes, unsolicited memery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-08 10:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12252828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinkistarlight/pseuds/jinkistarlight
Summary: just a simple chat fic between the members of seventeen (and some friends)





	seventeen shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> generic dad™ — seungcheol  
> angle — jeonghan  
> softshua — joshua  
> my i supremacist — junhui  
> hurricane — soonyoung  
> wonweewoo — wonwoo  
> snoozi — jihoon  
> pure one — seokmin  
> tol pupper / svt's secret vocalist — mingyu  
> minghoe — minghao  
> jejuboo — seungkwan  
> hand soap / sandsol — hansol  
> the maknae™ — chan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingyu fell down the stairs, jun is gayer than he thought, and the performance team isn't subtle

_change up (13) — 4:53 pm_

 

 **generic dad™** : not to be dramatic here

 **generic dad™** : but i think mingyu is dead

 

 **angle** : the kid's been dead inside for years tho

 

 **hurricane** : tell us something new Leader™

 

 **softshua** : is this about him falling down the stairs

 **softshua** :because i swear i saw wonwoo push him

 

 **wonweewoo** : don't incriminate me

 **wonweewoo** :it was probably jihoon anyway

 

 **snoozi** : I may be made of pure anger but I didn't touch the giant.

 

 **hand soap** : honestly i think it was wonwoo hyung

 

 **wonweewoo** : WHY

 

 **hand soap** : i saw the jealousy in your eyes when he sang in trauma

 **hand soap** : _i'm no fool_

 

 **the maknae™** : debatable

 

 **hand soap** : _rude_

 

 **jejuboo** : dude u can't just take out ur äNG(k)st on mingyu just bc u wanna sing

 

 **wonweewoo** : first of all, i DID NO SUCH T H I N G

 **wonweewoo** : second, fight me boo seungkwan you get a fuck ton of lines

 

 **snoozi** : ..."äNG(k)st"?

 

 **the maknae™** : hyung have u ever looked up the word angst in ur phone's dictionary

 

 **snoozi** : I spend my time doing more productive things, Chan.

 

 **hand soap** : ouch

 

 **minghoe** :

 

 **hurricane** :"origin: 'fear'" bitch me too tf

 

 **minghoe** : i can't believe our most angsty member didn't even know about this

 

 **softshua:** honestly jihoon isn't our most angsty member

 

 **jejuboo** : then whom??

 

 **softshua** : that should remain a secret for now :)

 

 **hand soap** : ominous but ok

 

 **tol pupper** : i still can't believe u tried to off me hyung

 

 **wonweewoo** : if you keep trying to frame me i just might actually off you

 

 **jejuboo** : oh shit

 

 **tol pupper** : suddenly i remember tripping on jun hyung's underwear??

 

 **my i supremacist** : dude tf

 

 **tol pupper** : it was u or me man

 

 **my i supremacist** : it should've been u

 

 **jejuboo** : OH SHIT

 

 **generic dad™** : mingyu pls stop making enemies you might really die at this rate

 

 **tol pupper** : honestly? that's the goal

 

 **angle** : tbh same

 

 **pure one** : do u guys need hugs or sth

 

 **angle** : _yes please_

 

 **pure one** : On It

 

 **softshua** : man i never knew he could run that fast

 

 **jejuboo** : hugs fuel him

 

 **softshua** : true

 

* * *

 

 

_change up (13) — 5:26 pm_

 

 **hand soap** : ok i think it's time to address the elephant in the room

 

 **jejuboo** : u heard him junhui it's time to expose urself

 

 **my i supremacist** : _what_

 

 **generic dad™** : do i want to know

 

 **hurricane** : honestly? no

 

 **generic dad™** : noted

 

 **my i supremacist** : i don't understand this but i feel as if i'm being m o c k e d

 

 **jejuboo** : ur always being mocked tho?

 

 **angle** : yeah this isn't anything new

 

 **my i supremacist** : tru

 

 **generic dad™** : wait what was hansol actually trying to talk about though

 

 **snoozi** : Oh right.

 

_[hand soap has changed the chat name to "trauma"]_

 

 **hand soap** : our time to shine has [come](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tRsEUB6-bk)

 

_[generic dad™ has changed hand soap's name to "sandsol"]_

 

 **sandsol** : but why

 

 **generic dad™** :

 

 **sandsol** : ok fine that's fair

 **sandsol** : but can we also

 

_[hansol changed tol pupper's name to "svt's secret vocalist"]_

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : i'm ok with this title

 

 **angle** : welcome to the vocal team, kid

 **angle** : a word of advice...don't piss of jihoon

 

 **snoozi** : Good advice.

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : ...was that a threat

 

 **snoozi** : A lot of the things I say double as threats.

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : fair enough

 

* * *

 

_my i supremacist to: hurricane — 7:03 pm_

 

 **my i supremacist** : ok what the hell did you mean earlier

 

 **hurricane** : umm

 **hurricane** : dude

 **hurricane** : ur intense Love™ for minghao???

 

 **my i supremacist** : wh

 

 **hurricane** : don't u "wh" me

 **hurricane** : are u seriously trying to tell me that u aren't aware of ur own feelings

 

 **my i supremacist** : ?????? what feelings???????

 

 **hurricane** : oh my g o d

 **hurricane** : so u mean to tell me that you aren't at all conscious of the amount of time u spend staring at his ass during practice

 

 **my i supremacist** : to be fair i stare at everyone's hindquarters

 

 **hurricane** : h i n d q u a r t e r s

 

 **my i supremacist** : are u telling me u don't get a kick out of minghao's derrière?

 

 **hurricane** : STOP IT

 

 **my i supremacist:** _never_

 **my i supremacist** : i live off of other people's discomfort

 

 **hurricane** : ...ok honestly me too

 **hurricane** : not the point tho

 **hurricane** : u stare at the guy 24/7

 

 **my i supremacist** : pshhh no i don't

 

 **hurricane** : u dropped all ur laundry in the middle of the hallway earlier bc u were staring at him so intensely

 **hurricane** : ur fixation almost murdered mingyu

 **hurricane** : it's kind of amazing that nobody's noticed tbh

 

 **my i supremacist** : dude i don't even like guys??

 

 **hurricane** : HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

 **hurricane** : DO U REALLY BELIEVE THAT

 **hurricane** : THAT'S HILARIOUS

 

 **my i supremacist** : B O I

 **my i supremacist** : what would u know about liking guys anyway??

 

 **hurricane** : another funny question

 

 **my i supremacist** :

 **my i supremacist** : w8

 **my i supremacist** : WHAT

 

 **hurricane** : i'm not about to out myself lmao

 **hurricane** : just know i'm about as gay as u seem to be

 

 **my i supremacist** : well since i clearly don't know anything about that i'll just sit around in the dark for a while

 **my i supremacist** : bye soonyoung thanks for CONFUSING ME

 

 **hurricane** : anytime man

 

* * *

 

 

_my i supremacist to: the maknae™ — 7:24 pm_

 

 **my i supremacist** : on a scale of 1-10 how gay do u think i am

 

 **the maknae™** : like a solid 13

 

 **my i supremacist** : fucking great

 

 **the maknae™** : why

 

 **my i supremacist** : idk soonyoung and i talked earlier and it's got me all messed up

 

 **the maknae™** : wdym?

 

 **my i supremacist** : idk i just

 **my i supremacist** : didn't think i liked guys?

 **my i supremacist** : but now that i'm thinking about it

 **my i supremacist** : well

 **my i supremacist** : thinking about minghao

 **my i supremacist** : and i mean like actively thinking about him not like the way he's been occupying my empty head for like three weeks

 **my i supremacist** : it feels different

 

 **the maknae™** : ...so do u like him?

 

 **my i supremacist** : FUCK chan i don't know

 **my i supremacist** : i think so???

 

 **the maknae™** : listen...i get that ur realizing things and that u probably won't come to a complete decision for a while

 **the maknae™** : but if u do like him

 **the maknae™** : i think u've got a pretty good shot with him

 **the maknae™** : and i'll be here to help u with anything u need, ok?

 **the maknae™** : soonyoung hyung too, no matter how much he harasses u

 

 **my i supremacist** : yeah

 **my i supremacist** : yeah i know

 **my i supremacist** : thanks man

 

 **the maknae™** : no problem hyung :D

 **the maknae™** : try and get some rest and think it over, k?

 

 **my i supremacist** : i will

 

* * *

  

_trauma (13) — 8:41 pm_

 

 **angle** : shua

 

 **softshua** : yes?

 

 **angle** : have u seen minghao

 

 **softshua** : no i've been watching a movie with seokmin

 **softshua** : why?

 

 **angle** : i have to  _beat him_

 

 **softshua** : i feel like i might regret asking this

 **softshua** : but, again, why?

 

 **angle** : he taped like 20 pictures of his face all over my bed

 **angle** : and he managed to slip a different picture of himself into every crevice i can see in here

 **angle** : everywhere i go i have to see his f a c e

 

 **softshua** : ...interesting

 

 **minghoe** : you'll never catch me hyung

 **minghoe** : i have a powerful barrier

 

 **generic dad™** : is that why you're hiding behind me

 

 **minghoe** : yes

 

 **angle** : GET THE HELL OVER HERE U DEMON CHILD

 

 **minghoe** : _N E V E R_

 

* * *

  

_trauma (13) — 8:57 pm_

 

 **wonweewoo** : did anyone else hear that big thump

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : that was probably the sound of minghao's life ending

 

 **sandsol** : finally we're free

 

 **jejuboo** : damn. stone cold.

 

 **sandsol** : he hid my shoes last week

 **sandsol** : he's dead to me

 

 **the maknae™** : i understand

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : you would rly throw him away for ur fuckin crocs

 

 **generic dad™** : _your_ _what now_

 

 **angle** : suddenly seventeen only has 12 members?

 

 **sandsol** : fuck off crocs are comfortable and functional and sofia gave them to me so i love them

 

 **snoozi** : Does she hate you?

 

 **sandsol** : NO

 

 **snoozi** : Then why would she give you those horrible things?

 

 **sandsol** : THEY'RE REALLY NOT THAT BAD

 

 **the maknae™** : yeah u say that but jeonghan hyung seems to be deleting all pictures of u from his phone as we speak

 

 **sandsol** : :(

 

 **generic dad™** : it was nice knowing you hansol

 

* * *

  

_hurricane to: my i supremacist — 9:14 pm_

 

 **hurricane** : u've been staring angrily at ur toast for a good five mins now

 **hurricane** : u good?

 

 **my i supremacist** : i haven't been ok since Fergie's 2006 release of Fergalicious

 

 **hurricane** : that's oddly specific but i feel it 

 **hurricane** : and i meant the whole minghao thing

 **hurricane** : is it messing with u?

 

 **my i supremacist** : i mean yeah i'm kind of questioning everything about myself rn

 

 **hurricane** : well shit

 **hurricane** : i knew i shouldn't have said anything

 

 **my i supremacist** : nah

 **my i supremacist** : i'm glad that u did

 **my i supremacist** : it's given me a lot to think about

 

 **hurricane** : the thought of u being introspective terrifies me

 

 **my i supremacist** : since when do u use the word introspective

 

 **hurricane** : since wonwoo started making me come to his book club meetings

 

 **my i supremacist** : ...ur telling me wonwoo has a book club

 

 **hurricane** : yeah we meet on the first sunday of every month to talk about literature

 **hurricane** : susan always brings snickerdoodles

 

 **my i supremacist** : what the fuck i want susan's snickerdoodles

 

 **hurricane** : but do u read

 

 **my i supremacist** :

 **my i supremacist** : no

 

 **hurricane** : exactly

 

 **my i supremacist** : do u????

 

 **hurricane** : yes i read but i will never tell u my favorite genre

 **hurricane** : there are some things that i'm not willing to admit man

 **hurricane** : and i already have wonwoo sworn to secrecy so don't even try

 

 **my i supremacist** : should i be concerned

 

 **hurricane** : probably

 

 **my i supremacist** : got it

 

* * *

  

_dance dance (4) — 11:19 pm_

 

 **minghoe** : Leader™

 

 **hurricane** : yes my child

 

 **minghoe** : why are u looking at me like that

 

 **hurricane** : none of ur business my child

 

 **minghoe** : tf

 

 **the maknae™** : the real question is

 **the maknae™** : why am i the only one actually practicing the choreography

 

 **hurricane** : don't act innocent maknae we all know ur just doing it to look hotter than all of us on stage

 

 **the maknae™** : that i cannot deny

 

 **minghoe** : too bad it'll never work

 

 **the maknae™** : b i t c h

 

 **minghoe** : also

 **minghoe** : why has jun been staring at himself in the mirror for so long

 

 **hurricane** : if i looked like him i’d do the same thing tbh

 

 **minghoe** : fair enough

 

 **hurricane** : :^)

 

 **the maknae™** : wh

 

 **hurricane** : :^)))))))))

 

 **minghoe** : should i be scared?

 

 **hurricane** : ;^))))))))))))

 

 **the maknae™** : definitely

 

 **minghoe** : time to escape while i can!

 

* * *

 

_jejuboo to: minghoe — 11:43 am_

 

 **jejuboo** : is it just me or has the entire performance team been staring at u for the last 10 mins

 

 **minghoe** : for once ur right seungkwan

 

 **jejuboo** : i don't need the sass ok

 **jejuboo** : fr tho wtf is going on here

 **jejuboo** : are they planning to kill u or smth

 **jejuboo** : bc if so

 **jejuboo** : i can't rly blame them

 

 **minghoe** : rude

 **minghoe** : and i seriously don't know???

 **minghoe** : u didn't expose me, did u?

 

 **jejuboo** : if ur asking if i blabbed about ur giant crush jun

 **jejuboo** : aka the guy u regularly _tie urself to_  and call it a dance

 **jejuboo** : then no i didn't

 **jejuboo** : if anything is gonna give it away it's the way u eat him up with ur eyes every time he dances lol

 

 **minghoe** : don't roast me ok the man is _fine_

 

 **jejuboo** : i'm JUST SAYIN. ur kinda obvious. maybe they all just Know.

 

 **minghoe** : ur not making me feel better

 

 **jejuboo** : oh did u want support sorry i'm much better at mockery

 

 **minghoe** : why did i even tell u i like jun

 

 **jejuboo** : bc i caught u like sobbing over him @ 3 am and u couldn't stop urself from spilling everything to me???

 

 **minghoe** :

 **minghoe** : right

 **minghoe** : bad times

 

 **jejuboo** : mhm

 **jejuboo** : anyway u should rly get chan to stop looking at u like ur an idiot it's starting to piss even me off

 

 **minghoe** : oh i plan on stopping him

 **minghoe** : i'll just need a sock and some butter

 

 **jejuboo** : oh that boy is d e a d

 

* * *

 

_the maknae™ to: minghoe — 12:13 am_

 

 **the maknae™** : STOP IT

 

 **minghoe** : OPEN THE DOOR

 

 **the maknae™** : NO U HAVE A BUTTER SOCK

 **the maknae™** : I DON'T WANNA DIE TODAY BOI

 

 **minghoe** : THEN TELL ME WHY THE ENTIRE PERF TEAM HAS BEEN STARING AT ME SINCE PRACTICE

 

 **the maknae™** : FUCK NO

 

 **minghoe** : THEN PREPARE FOR DEATH

 

 **the maknae™** : LKSJDFSDF WHY ARE U SO STRONG

 

 **minghoe** : I CARRY THE WEIGHT OF MY SINS

 **minghoe** : AND UR ABOUT TO BECOME ONE OF THEM

 

 **the maknae™** : I DON'T DESERVE THIS

 

 **minghoe** : DO U REALLY BELIEVE THAT

 

 **the maknae™** :

 **the maknae™** : HONESTLY NO

 **the maknae™** : BUT I'M NOT GOIN DOWN LIKE THIS

 

 **minghoe** : JUST TELL MEEEEEE

 

 **the maknae™** : I'M NOT ABOUT TO EXPOSE HIM

 

 **minghoe** : EXPOSE WHO

 

 **the maknae™** : FUCK I'VE SAID TOO MUCH

 

 **minghoe** : CHANNNNNN

 

* * *

 

_trauma (13) — 12:18 am_

 

 **wonweewoo** : did anyone else just hear chan scream

 

 **snoozi** : It was kind of hard to miss, yeah.

 

 **angle** : so we lost 4 members today then??

 

 **softshua** : seems like it

 

 **generic dad™** : well now we have to make up a new elaborate explanation for our number of members

 

 **snoozi** : No one even believes the current one though.

 

 **generic dad™** : I KNOW

 

 **angle** : well we're doomed i guess

 

 **my i supremacist** : i knew someday we'd die out one by one

 **my i supremacist** : this many crazy guys can't live together without some casualties

 

 **hurricane** : that's dark but ur not wrong

 

 **minghoe** : i guess since hansol is dead i should bury him with his crocs

 

 **sandsol** : why r u acting like i really died

 **sandsol** : and why do u require my death to give my crocs back

 

 **minghoe** : do u hear that? sounds like a ghost

 

 **sandsol** : i don't deserve to be treated this way

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : debatable

 

 **sandsol** : smh

 

* * *

 

_minghoe to: jejuboo — 2:49 am_

 

 **minghoe** : seungkwan

 **minghoe** : i've been thinking about why perf team was staring at me

 **minghoe** : and why soonyoung especially is being really weird about it

 

 **jejuboo** : what are u getting at here

 

 **minghoe** : i think

 **minghoe** : i think soonyoung might like me?

 

 **jejuboo** :

 **jejuboo** : wait do u actually

 

 **minghoe** : i mean not really but?? it's the only reason i can think of

 **minghoe** : if they were gonna do something weird to me it would've happened by now

 **minghoe** : and chan and soonyoung make lots of really dramatic eye contact

 **minghoe** : jun doesn't rly seem to care tho

 

 **jejuboo** : ://

 

 **minghoe** : it's fine

 **minghoe** : my feelings about jun aren't important right now

 **minghoe** : i just need to know if soonyoung actually likes me

 **minghoe** : wanna help me figure it out?

 

 **jejuboo** : oooookayyyy i guess i can try to scout around

 

 **minghoe** : thanks man

 

 **jejuboo** : yeah of course

 

* * *

 

_jejuboo to: pure one — 3:10 am_

 

 **jejuboo** : dude

 **jejuboo** : we have An Issue

 

 **pure one** : why what happened were any puppers injured???

 

 **jejuboo** : no the puppers are safe thank goodness

 

 **pure one** : then what's the problem?

 

 **jejuboo** : have u noticed perf team being weird with minghao all day

 

 **pure one** : if by "being weird" u mean obsessively watching his every move then yeah

 

 **jejuboo** : well minghao thinks that soonyoung hyung likes him

 

 **pure one** :

 **pure one** : oh no

 **pure one** : do u think he likes minghao?

 

 **jejuboo** : honestly i have no clue i've been too absorbed in watching jeonghan hyung slowly plot chan's undoing to really notice

 

 **pure one** : and u call urself a good wingman?

 

 **jejuboo** : listen jeonghan hyung's plans are actually really interesting he's very thorough

 

 **pure one** : well we need to figure this out

 **pure one** : if soonyoung likes minghao then what are we gonna do?

 

 **jejuboo** : ugsdlfkjsdfsdflsdf i KNOW I KNOW WE NEED TO GET THIS SORTED

 **jejuboo** : try investigating k? i'll snoop around too dw

 

 **pure one** : okkkkkk i'll ask around

 **pure one** : tomorrow tho bc if i ask rn everyone will accuse me of having The Dream again

 

 **jejuboo** : oh lol right

 **jejuboo** : did the monkey ever kill the president?

 

 **pure one** : I DON'T KNOW :(

 **pure one** : THE COUNTRY COULD BE IN SHAMBLES FOR ALL I KNOW

 

 **jejuboo** : i'm sure you'll find out one day

 **jejuboo** : be patient, young one

 

 **pure one** : i'm trying :c

 

* * *

 

_trauma (13) — 5:03 am_

 

 **jejuboo** : 이제 WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE WAKE UP

 

 **snoozi** : Oh fuck no. 

 **snoozi** : Not again.

 

 **jejuboo** : this song will always be relevant hyung

 **jejuboo** : fight me

 

 **snoozi** : Don't test me when I'm tired.

 **snoozi** : My half-conscious body will not hesitate to destroy you.

 

 **sandsol** : seungkwan maybe u should stop before he decides ending u is the fastest way to go back to sleep

 

 **generic dad™** : please we can't lose more members

 

 **svt's secret vocalist** : i'm still not dead but ok

 

 **angle** : jihoon already fell back asleep we're fine

 

 **softshua** : according to the time we have left until we're supposed to leave the dorms

 **softshua** : i don't really think we're fine

 

 **angle** : why can't u just let me have one happy moment

 

 **softshua** : carats can be your happy moment

 **softshua** : go get dressed now please

 

 **angle** : yes sir

 

 **the maknae™** : ok but who stole my socks

 

 **wonweewoo** : i think we all know who

 

 **hurricane** : lemme guess

 **hurricane** : Team Dad™?

 

 **my i supremacist** : bingo

 

 **generic dad™** : why are all my children against me?

 

 **the maknae™** : bc u habitually steal our stuff???

 

 **generic dad™** : well.

 **generic dad™** : i suppose that's true.

 

 **softshua** : cheol

 

 **generic dad™** : yes shua

 

 **softshua** : _get up and get dressed right now_

 

 **generic dad™** : ...yes shua

 

 **jejuboo** : dad™ is being targeted

 **jejuboo** : i like this

 

 **my i supremacist** : u just feed off of misery

 

 **jejuboo** : this is tru

 

 **softshua** : seungkwan :)

 **softshua** : _get ready please_ :)

 

 **pure one** : why are ur fists clenched so tight

 

 **softshua** : no reason :)

 

 **jejuboo** : SUDDENLY I'M VERY MOTIVATED TO GET READY

 

 **the maknae™** : joshua hyung is the reason i fear waking up late

 

 **softshua** : good.

 

 **snoozi** : Guys, the managers are here.

 **snoozi** : We have to go.

 

 **sandsol** : when did u even get ready??

 

 **snoozi** : I've trained myself to get ready for the day when I'm still only sort of awake.

 

 **minghoe** : ...can u teach me how to do that?

 

 **snoozi** : Yeah.

 **snoozi** : You have enough pent up rage to learn my technique properly.

 

 **hurricane** : i can vouch for that

 

 **minghoe** : i didn't hit u that hard

 

 **hurricane** : the blow may not have hurt

 **hurricane** : but your w o r d s

 **hurricane** : i have scars, minghao

 **hurricane** : _s c a r s_

 

 **generic dad™** : well on that note

 **generic dad™** : COME ON KIDS WE'RE GOIN TO WORK

 

 **jejuboo** : every day is bring ur kid to work day for u, huh?

 

 **generic dad™** : YES AND IT'S EXHAUSTING

 **generic dad™** : LEGGO

 

 **minghoe** : n y o o m

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rly didn't think it would end up this long lkdjfsdf??? anyway yeah this is just ur average chat fic pls enjoy as i post more chapters. it'll progressively get more gay™ and some other idols may make appearances here and there. stay tuned for more!


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